How the gospel has changed my life...

It is amazing how much a life can change. A year ago I was a single guy with a dog named Flash. My life was consumed with church work, seminary papers, and perpetual drives to Hattiesburg to see the love of my life. A year later, I am married to that girl, I still have a dog named Flash (and now another dog named Gigi), I am still consumed with church work and we still embark on journeys to Hattiesburg often. Fortunately, a 20-foot trot across a stage at New Orleans Seminary completed my seminary endeavors (at least for now). All of these things are life-changing events. I mean marriage is the best thing ever! I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend! Finishing my Masters at NOBTS was fantastic. However, one thing in particular has changed everything about my life.  I mean EVERY SINGLE THING in my life.  What could possibly change every thing about a person’s life?

The Gospel…

Now this may come as a shock to anyone who knows me…  Let me share the summary of my life in 30 seconds. I was born to loving Christian parents. I have never known life outside of church. I accepted God’s salvation and gave my life to Him at 8 years old. I knew even from that early age that I was supposed to preach. (Which was quite devastating for an unbelievably shy boy who would rather swim the Atlantic than do any sort of public speaking). I went to a Baptist college where I majored in Religion and minored in biblical languages. I started interning at a fantastic church. I went to seminary. Then I started working as a fulltime student minister at an amazing church. I am a guy that you would think would understand the importance of the gospel. Now obviously I knew what the gospel was.  I knew I needed Jesus. I knew a lot of stuff. But I had no idea the extent to which the gospel would change everything for me.

You see I lived my “Christian life” the way I thought everyone did. I said a prayer, invited Jesus to live in my heart, and then I got to work. And can I say I worked hard. There was so much that I needed to work on! Sure Jesus had saved my soul from hell, but now it was up to me to live the “Christian Life.” The problem was that I still messed up… a lot. For example, the first lie that I ever remember telling centered on Hawaiian Punch. I distinctly remember a trip to Kroger with my mom. On the way into the store I told my mom that I loved Hawaiian Punch and that if she bought me a two-liter I would drink every sip. She quickly told me that I did not like Hawaiian Punch at all.  I told her I drank it at day care and that it was now my favorite drink ever! I also remember telling her on the departure from the grocery store that I really didn’t like Hawaiian Punch at all. (I also vaguely remember getting a spanking for my escapades).  It was then that I realized I was a liar. I committed that day to never lie again. That is the day I stepped onto the great spiritual rollercoaster known as legalism. It was the exhilarating ride that would take me to the heights of self-righteousness and then plunge me into the depths of despair. On days that I read my bible and prayed I would feel pretty good. On those rare days I went “soul-winning” or didn’t do anything that seemed too sinful I would feel great. However, on days I didn’t read the bible, or on days I disobeyed my parents or fought with my brother or committed any number of “really bad sins” I was devastated. I would lie in bed at night and strategize about how I would do better the next day. Truly that great dichotomy of self-righteousness and despair filled my childhood and steamrolled on into adolescence. The only difference is that with maturity came knowledge and with knowledge came the glaring reality that I was more messed up than ever. Not only was I a lying, disobedient transgressor, but now I was lustful, rebellious, greedy, worry filled, and on and on the list goes. To ease the pain I would try to read my Bible and pray. However, I found this to be fairly traumatic. On every page of Scripture I saw my own shortcomings. My prayer life was perpetually in disarray. I was so scared to talk to God about anything that really mattered in my life. How could I possibly pray to a holy God? I had no doubt that He knew my wickedness and I was sure that it was only a matter of time before I would reap a dreadful harvest.

 I will interject that all along the way there was a deep almost tenacious hunger in my heart to know God. There was something inside of me that deeply desired to know God. I didn’t want to just know facts about Him, but I really wanted to know Him. But by the time I went off to college I had just about decided that it would be impossible to really know God until I got to heaven. The deep longing in my heart to be loved by the great God I had “served” would have to wait until the afterlife. I was much too dreadful to be loved while I was still on earth. Because as it seemed to me, as long as I was on earth I was going to keep sinning and as long as I kept sinning God was going to keep being upset with me. What is ironic about this story is that the whole time I was constantly in despair… constantly feeling like I would never measure up… During that whole time I was undoubtedly the most self-righteous person in the world. This should not come as a total shock because obviously since my acceptance from God was based strictly on my own behavior then what other type of righteousness could have possibly existed? My whole spiritual life rested on my shoulders. While the weight broke me on the inside it caused me to be hyperspirtual and hypercritical on the outside. I judged everyone I knew by the unbearable standard I judged myself by. I am not the first to fall into the trap but fall I did (see Matthew 23). That is a miserable place to be in. No one could ever measure up and neither could I. I was a policeman. I felt as though it was my responsibility to keep the Law and to make sure everyone else did too. I was broken and I knew it. It was in the midst of that brokenness that the gospel resurrected in my life. The lifetime of guilt, rule keeping, emptiness, and shame washed away and in its place was life. I was transformed by that same gospel that I accepted all those years before. It was just that now the gospel was not simply a launching point for the afterlife, but rather the substance of life here on earth. I had always viewed the gospel as something that “lost” people needed. I assumed that they needed to come down the church aisle, accept the gospel, and then get to work. I could not have been more wrong! While it is undoubtedly true that lost people need the gospel, it is just as true that saved people need that same gospel! I need that gospel! The gospel is not simply about an afterlife…. No the gospel is life!  Let me explain myself.

           

I had obviously known the tenants of the gospel for a very long time. I knew that Jesus was God’s Son. I knew that He came to earth, lived a perfect life, died on a cross, and was resurrected. I knew that if I accepted that by faith He would save my soul. Where it got extremely foggy for me was what that meant for life here and now. So please don’t misunderstand what I am saying. This was not a new gospel at all. It was the same gospel I had always known. All the tenants were the same. The difference was for the very first time I began to understand what that meant for my life here and now. It became crystal clear to me that I had rightly accepted the gospel, but that I had added my own self-righteousness to the mix.(Paul talks about the dangers of this gospel+ self-righteousness approach at length in Galatians).  It was Jesus plus me. I had accepted God’s grace for salvation, but had relegated sanctification to my own willpower and determination. The gospel took that burden off of me and put it on Christ (the only one who could ever bear it).  This is the gospel…

            God created everything. In the beginning man both literally and functionally walked with God Himself. We were created to be WITH God and we were. However, there came a point where we decided that we didn’t want to simply be with God, but instead we wanted to BE God (see Gen. 3).  In no uncertain terms we joined a rebellion against God. As a result of this we, along with the entire cosmos were cursed. There was now a separation between God and us. We were wicked and we were doomed. God would have been completely right to just leave us in our cursed state. However, He did the unthinkable. He sent His Son to be the Savior of the cursed race of people known as human beings. He knew we would never measure up. He knew that we were hopeless. So He sent His Son to this cursed planet to save us. He sent Jesus to be our substitute. Jesus lived the perfect life that we could never live. Then He took an eternity’s worth of God’s wrath on Himself (the cross). He did what we could never do. He was the perfect person that we were meant to be. Jesus gave His perfect life and became a substitute for us. He traded His perfection for our sin. In that great exchange we received God’s love and acceptance while Jesus received God’s wrath. Jesus died for us. He came to this planet to be our savior and that is exactly what He did. While He willingly gave up His life and died, He came back to life three days later. He accomplished what He came to do. He became the Savior of men.

God made a way for men to return to a life with Him (both here and for eternity). God promised that if we would see His glory and turn from our sins and accept the grace of Jesus Christ and if our hearts would call out to Him than we could be saved! We have to come to the point where we realize that we have rebelled against the perfect God of the universe. It is then that we realize that we are altogether unworthy to know Him or be known by Him. We must see that we have not given Him the glory He deserves. It is then that we can clearly see that Christ has done what it takes to save us. This leads us to give everything we are to God. And because of the work of Christ God accepts us as His own children (Eph. 1). This changes everything!

 This is the same gospel I have known and accepted since I was 8 years old. However, I had not ever really understood what that meant for life now. I had spent my whole life “working” to be like Jesus (and failing miserably). That is when I began to understand that I had completely missed the implications of this gospel. The gospel was not just good news for life after death, but it was great news for life now. God never intended for me to get saved and then get to work. Instead what God intended was for me to accept the gospel and then cling to forever. I thought the gospel was the starting line of the race that is Christianity. I thought I was supposed to leave the starting line and start running into “deeper” things. What I now understand is that I am not supposed to run from the gospel, but rather I am supposed to rest in it. Much like a tree that lets its roots grow deep into fertile soil. I am never meant to leave but to stay and to soak it in. I was never meant to leave the work of Christ, but rather I was meant to plant myself in it. I really thought salvation was about Jesus and the Christian life was all about me. The gospel showed me that it is all about Jesus. Here are a few of the highpoints of what the gospel has shown me.

1). In Christ I am perpetually loved by God. Jesus lived the perfect live that I could never live. His righteousness has been imputed to me through His gospel. God sees me as His son, not as failure. He does not simply put up with me, but He really does love me. (Rom. 8:38-39)

2). I am accepted by God because of Christ. I do not work for God’s favor. God accepts me because of what Jesus has done, not based on what I do. God does not accept me based on the Law, but rather based on Christ’s work as seen in the gospel. (Galatians 2:17-20; Rom. 8:1-4).

3). I can now boldly approach God’s throne. I am not coming to God as a hopeless case, but rather am coming to Him as “his beloved son in whom He is well pleased.” (Heb. 4:16)

4). I can honestly look at my own sinfulness and my own brokenness. I do not need to hide behind broad generalizations like “God forgive all my sins today.” Rather I am free to come out from the bushes I hide in (reference to Adam and Eve in Gen. 3) and approach God. I can go before Him broken at my shortcoming BUT knowing that I am accepted not based on my own merit but based solely on the gospel. (1 John 1:9).

5). I actually experience joy. It is not merely a Christian term for happiness. Rather it is unquenchable delight that is not based on circumstances, but rather on God Himself. Life is still difficult, but the gospel reminds me of God’s love and acceptance of me. This fills my heart with true joy.  (John 15:11)

6). I think I am finally starting to genuinely love people. Before I was too busy judging people to love them. Other people’s shortcoming pale in comparison to my own!  What’s more, if God has accepted me and if He has loved me then it is a joy to show that same acceptance and love to others. I want to do for others what God has done for me. I don’t want to be the policeman. I want to offer hope. (Mark 12:30-31).

7). I enjoy God! I have found that He is the treasure of this life and the life to come. My sin pulls me towards idols, but the gospel calls me back into intimacy with God. I was so wrong before. I truly thought that it was impossible to enjoy God before heaven. The gospel makes it possible! (Ps. 37:4)

            There is so much more to say. The gospel has changed everything for me.  The gospel has changed my life in such a profound way that I have become obsessed with it. It really has become consuming for me. I see the echoes of it everywhere. I see it throughout all of Scripture. I see it in life’s circumstances, in nature, in movies… literally everywhere. This is a very good thing, because I have also realized that I forget it so quickly! If I step away from the truth that God has spoken through the gospel I fall right back into self-righteous-despair all over again. This has lead me to start this blog. I need to remember the truth of the gospel. We all do. I want to think about it, write about, talk about it… I want to continually immerse myself in the glorious truth of God’s love as found through the work of Christ in the gospel. I need it. I need it desperately. I hope that this blog will serve to encourage my family, my friends, and my own soul to bask continually in the glorious gospel!